Introduction.

Today is Christmas, probably the most important birthday of the world. The day that we group together to see family, buy gifts and ignore our problems to at least one day. Our ego gets left behind, our joy and generosity flows upwards in our soul and the only thing we can give is love… or at least that is what we should aspire to. But life is never that easy, our problems do not vanish, our family conflicts do not get solved and the anger and hate stay the same.

Obviously if you have the fortune and the privilege to have a good Christmas, congratulations! I know you deserve it, but this post is not for you. This post is for all of those friends, family and people who keep struggling, to those people who do not see an ending to their problems neither to their suffering. This post is for the unfortunate and unprivileged.

About the religious celebration that was transformed to a business.

Often the joy we see portraited in all media is that of the expensive gifts, ugly sweaters and food. Family from all around that group together just to enjoy. This marketing is very powerful, it enters in our deepest needs and convince us that the happiness of the celebration is for the context, rather than the activity.

Yes, is nice to have gifts, but they are not anywhere needed. We can survive without them. The real gift that we encounter is having the presence of those that have been missed, of those people who make our life happier, of those who are that occupied in all the year that even physically close did not have the opportunity to spend time with us. Our relationships are the real gift. Is very easy to forget how all of those people are key to our sanity.

Always remember what those around you provide to your life. You are free to remind the negative, but I do not encourage you to keep it in mind. We need a break, even of our own thoughts. Your relationships deserve balance, they deserve compassion and forgiveness, they deserve a second chance. Before you judge, remind them also of all their goods, remind all of their sacrifice and remind all of their love. When we see the people around us in all their complexity our resentment simply decreases (supposing that you have some maturity). Strive for it, strive to say “thanks” before saying “fuck you”.

Our real life Grinch

If you have a bad moment in Christmas is very likely that you have someone within your close circle who just strives to makes things harder: a person who appears to just be an asshole. They insult you, treat you unfairly or simply ignore or deliberately punish your enthusiasm and happiness. These people seem like they hate joy and they want to destroy for everyone else… and guest what? You are completely right.

Sometimes when life is hard and we are suffering often we find justification to be evil. This sense of meaning is often ignored because is not constructive, is literally the opposite, it is destructive to its core. These people often feel that they have seen enough to conclude that life and all that it entails is poisonous enough to justify vengeance. They see their actions as some kind of maxim, they also often are aware of their behavior and even can express it with pride. “You know what? Christmas is just a date, shut the fuck up. This shit is irrelevant and when you become an adult, you will realize it.”

Their darkness is very deep. You cannot expect to diffuse it in one day, but you can try. Talk with them, ask them questions, listen very carefully and think twice before you interrupt or get angry at them. The majority of people are not just cartoons who want to hurt everyone for their evil purpose, they are humans, they have desires and they have emotions. Sometimes we even realize that is not them, but us who have been behaving inappropriately.

Suppose this example. Your grandfather is pissed off and the only thing he has made all day is judging everyone. Is he wrong? Obviously, but he have his reasons. Maybe he has feel abandoned all year long, maybe he has not received any attention or help, even when he needed the most, maybe he wanted to talk to their family but none is showing any kind of affect or care. He is suffering, and he is turning his sadness into anger. He is not the who should carry all the guilt, he is the one who should receive a hug and compassion.

I know it is hard, to have such conversations in a holiday that is supposed to be perfect, but if you do it believe me that even if you fail, you have done immense good that surely pleases God more that pretending to be happy while having hate in your hearth.

Give others the gift of compassion. It is the best gift to us: the insufficient.

Do something nice

Finally, before saying good bye I encourage you, dear reader, to give some love (It does not matter if is not Christmas). This year I wrote 8 long personalized messages and about 15 to 20 boring “Happy Christmas! 🥳💗”. If you are broke to hell (just like me) believe me that saying someone how much they matter to you from you own genuine words is a beautiful gift.

So, maybe you can do the same. Search within your close circle 5 people that truly matter to you and write, call or see them. Search another 10 people who you believe could be having a bad time or that you simply want to make a bit happier.

Believe me that receiving an unexpected positive message can make grateful and kind even to the most suspicious people. Always remember that behind our tough, egoistical and angry armor is some unexperienced little kid who is just trying to survive. Do not be scared to be ignored or hurt, give other your hand and at most cases they will repeat your kindness back to you. Also, attempt to talk to that kid within ourselves, it will most probably make you cry.

Conclusion

Finally also I have to say that December is the birth of a despair that big that often ends in suicide. Please do not take those around you for granted. Sometimes a little bit of kindness is enough to keep people moving another year. Do it for them.

Sometimes we are not as bad as we think. Even if we pass a bad time in our Holidays we can find some purpose in doing the right things. It may sound very romantic, but the sole fact of being alive, have the possibility of doing something nice for others and hugging my mother, father and sister is much more than enough to overcome my solitude in Christmas and I hope is also enough for you.

If you have some problem that I did not mention please be free to leave it in the comments so I can work on it. I just want to say that I wish you the best of fortunes and that you can have some rest or improvement in these holidays. Without nothing more to say, goodbye!.

Happy Christmas! 🥳💗